I, unfortunately lack these essential skills. Many a times, I question whether being an introvert has resulted in my lack of confidence to socialise. Or perhaps it was some lingering childhood fear of not being accepted by a clique in class? I am still clueless.
Whenever I meet friends or classmates in the doorways, I find it more comfortably to simply gaze in the opposite directions/pretend to be preoccupied, rather than squeeze out a simple "Hello." It was not always like this.
I still remember a brief period of time whereby I was almost always enthusiastic to meet my friends along the corridors and would wave frantically and call out their name. There was this classmate of mine. (She was quite myopic, haha..) That day, I saw her chatting animatedly with her classmates and proceeded to do of my standard frantic waves; she didn't see me. (I was about 10 metres away.) Upon crossing paths, she finally noticed me!..and proceeded to smile awkwardly and wave rather dismissively, before carrying on her conversation. "Ouch!" She was not a mean person, and is, by far one of the most compassionate and empathetic person that I know. That made me reflect a lot. I wondered if I was too enthusiastic; was my wave too exaggerated? Was I embarrassing? Was she just distracted? I came to the mistaken conclusion that perhaps my greeting was unwarranted and I was really distracting them from being present with friends. Perhaps I lost a little confidence and a little more unwanted.
I still remember a brief period of time whereby I was almost always enthusiastic to meet my friends along the corridors and would wave frantically and call out their name. There was this classmate of mine. (She was quite myopic, haha..) That day, I saw her chatting animatedly with her classmates and proceeded to do of my standard frantic waves; she didn't see me. (I was about 10 metres away.) Upon crossing paths, she finally noticed me!..and proceeded to smile awkwardly and wave rather dismissively, before carrying on her conversation. "Ouch!" She was not a mean person, and is, by far one of the most compassionate and empathetic person that I know. That made me reflect a lot. I wondered if I was too enthusiastic; was my wave too exaggerated? Was I embarrassing? Was she just distracted? I came to the mistaken conclusion that perhaps my greeting was unwarranted and I was really distracting them from being present with friends. Perhaps I lost a little confidence and a little more unwanted.
Unintentionally, this has resulted in me becoming less than popular with my new classmates. Thought of as aloof, my classmates preferred to leave me alone, as they were afraid too, of disturbing my solitude. Perhaps I asked for this, hahaha..
Recently one of my classmates from my previous class, S, whose company I enjoy, asked me why I have been less than enthusiastic about my greetings. I told her what I've just mentioned and she told me something that changed my perspective. Greetings are meant to be consistent, and are almost always welcome. When you stop being consistent with them, it inevitably creates an atmosphere of awkwardness, that wasn't even there in the first place. People instinctively start wondering if anything has gone wrong and it provokes an unnecessary chain of puzzlement, not different from those feelings I'd felt earlier. And greetings are not distracting, it is a way of socialising, it is a way of life. It is not distracting, and you may just expand your social circle. While it is not a contest to become Miss Popular, greetings are only polite and courteous.
So just skip those self-derogatory and complicated thoughts, and just wave hello today!:)
20th Oct 2016
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